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Via EmailStarting a Conversation with a Compliment
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In This Newsletter…
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1. Quotation of the Month
2. Four Conversation Tips of the Month
3. Word of the Month
4. How Would You Solve This Problem?
5. Check Out My Blog
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1. Quotation of the Month
“If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”
- A. A. Milne, author of Winnie the Pooh
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2. Four Conversation Tips of the Month
Striking up a conversation with a stranger is good for your brain!
Why? Because it pushes you out of your comfort zone andactivates your brain cells. Any activity that stretches you, so to speak, improves and maintains your memory. Yes, you could do it by writing with your non-dominant hand, or taking a different route home. But let’s focus on conversations. They don’t take extra time because you’re around strangers all the time: in check-out lines, in elevators, at Starbucks….
6 tips to start a conversation with a compliment
Are you wondering how to flirt? Complimenting someone is a great way to flirt, and flirting leads to friendships, dates, and big phone bills. If you find the idea of talking to a stranger too uncomfortable, start small. Aim for a brief chat. When you manage to exchange even a few words, pat yourself on the back. Then do it again soon.
1. Compliment someone. Then ask a follow-up question, for example,
- “Great jeans. How do you decide which styles to buy?”
- “That’s a flattering style on you. Did you learn to dress so well by taking a class, or is it one of your talents?”
- “Love your ring/watch/bracelet/briefcase/necklace….” Does it have a story?” [This is a super follow-up question.]
Secretary of State Madeleine Albright is famous for wearing elaborate pins. Ambassadors and heads of state often broke the ice by asking her about her latest adornment. What ice breakers could you wear?
2. Contribute to the conversation. Don’t be an interviewer who only asks questions.
3. Share something personal.
For example, following a compliment about earrings or watch, etc., you could say, “My mom gave me this watch for Christmas. It loses 5 minutes a day, and every time I set it, I think of her.”
4. Don’t take the reply personally, especially if there isn’t one.
5. Keep practicing. Eventually it gets to be fun to connect, even for a moment. When I call a business and the receptionist rattles off a long string of syllables, I like to say, “Wow, that was a mouthful. Good job!” The receptionist usually chuckles.
6. If chatting with a stranger seems too big a task, rehearse mentally to build your confidence.
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Two more brain tips from an expert in Chinese medicine
- Eat 1 or 2 walnuts every day. Walnuts are brain food. Have you noticed they even look like your brain?
- Massage the outside edge of your ears, which are filled with brain-enhancing acupressure points. (The shower is a good place to do it since you’re washing your ears anyway. Aren’t you?)
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3. Word of the Month: literally
Watching Tour de France racers careening down the mountain, a TV commentator said, “The riders literally fly off the mountain.”
Is it true? Are the riders free of gravity? Do their wheels leave the pavement for minutes at a time?
When someone blabs a secret he’s supposed to keep, does he literally let the cat out of the bag? Does he literally spill the beans?
I don’t think so.
What the TV commentator meant was “figuratively.” Remember your English teacher talking about figures of speech? (Vaguely?)
Many people misuse the word “literally,” which means it really, truly, actually, in fact, happens. For example, when you chat with a stranger, your neurons literally create new connections with each other. Do they slap each other on the back and swap high fives? Figuratively, yes.
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4. How Would You Solve This Problem?
True story: Tenants of a New York skyscraper complained about its slow elevators. Getting a speedier elevator was out of the budget, so the landlords hired an elevator consultant and took his advice. Soon everyone was happy.
What did he recommend?
The answer is below.
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5. Check Out My Blog on (surprise!) Elevator Speeches
Elevator Speech: Answering the Question “What Do You Do?”
America’s #1 conversation question is “What Do You Do?” If you’re answer in the usual way —”I’m a manager/salesperson/
realtor/chief computer nerd—you’re missing the conversation boat.
What should you say? The answer is on this terrific video starring Sam Horn. Be sure to read the comments, too.
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The answer to the elevator dilemma: installing mirrors.
