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Via EmailDon’t Complain, Don’t Explain
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In This Newsletter…
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1. Quotation of the Month
2. Conversation Tip of the Month
3. Word of the Month
4. Humor
5. Check Out My Blog
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1. Quotation of the Month
“Dogs make good company. Dogs don’t question the fact that you are going to take a nap 20 minutes after getting up from one. They are happy to accommodate you. Sometimes Rosie hops off the bed the minute I hop on, but she has her own dog reasons, and it’s never because of something I said at breakfast, or because she had an unhappy adolescence….
“I can put up with Carolina’s barking because she’ll stop for a treat (and because I love her so much), but people are different. You can’t shut them up with the offer of a dog biscuit or a little piece of broccoli.”
- Abigail Thomas
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2. Conversation Tip of the Month:
Don’t Complain, Don’t Explain
SNORE ALERT: This next paragraph will bore you on purpose to make a point. Keep reading and it will get better.
I’m so sorry that this newsletter is over a month late. The reasons are many. First I joined my family for a Bahamas kayaking trip, and then visited more family in South Florida. Then in April I was so happy to be home and spend time with my partner, dogs, and friends that I ignored my writing. Then my library volunteer job got hectic because of the semi-annual book sale, which was very successful, by the way, because I posted 120 signs in the neighborhood. And … and …
Are you asleep yet? Are you thinking, “Get to the point already!” Are you hoping the point is worth reading all that stuff?
How often do we listen to somebody explain why they shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t … [fill in the blank]? Who wants to hear it?
Don’t you want to stuff their mouths with dry, dry biscuits so they’ll stop? Or is it just me?
Wouldn’t it have been more informative, more interesting, if I’d plunged into the conversation tip of the month? Yes, but then I wouldn’t have been able to blast, er, bring to your attention how often we bore other people with our explanations.
As Henry Ford said, “Don’t complain, don’t explain.” Nobody cares why you ate the 2nd Twinkie Doodle Snicker Snack and missed getting the last parking space and were late to the meeting.
Wouldn’t it be refreshing to hear someone say, “Sorry I’m late; next time I’ll allow an extra half hour to find parking”?
That statement provides:
- an acknowledgment of being late and inconveniencing others
- a plan for being on time in the future
- an acceptance of responsibility for being late. In other words, it wasn’t hunger’s fault or the parking’s fault; it was the driver’s fault for not allowing enough time to get a space
Your Mission for the Week, Should You Choose to Accept It:
Notice how often folks give reasons why they couldn’t do something. Or reasons why they did. Are you interested? Do you care? Do the reasons seem like excuses in fancy clothing? Notice how those reasons make you feel. Do you want to ask for more reasons or reach for dry biscuits?
Notice how often you provide reasons. See if you can manage a reason-free week.
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3. Word of the Month: “alacrity” (ah-LACK-rih-tee)
meaning “brisk and cheerful readiness”
The word alacrity kept popping up in the novel I was reading. It always seemed to be used with the word “with,” as in this example: “When invited to eat sushi, Terry accepted with alacrity.”
Do you suppose the novel was populated with cheerful and ready characters? Or just hungry ones?
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4. Humor
My gratitude to the cartoonist, whose name I don’t know.
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5. Check Out My Blog
“How Was Your Trip?” and other Conversation Questions
(not boring, I promise)
