View RSS Feed
Via EmailGreat Conversation Tips: 3 Ways to Kill Good Conversation
Here’s another edition of Great Conversation Tips with three ways to kill a good conversation—or at least knock it senseless. Are you guilty of at least one of these?
1. Obsess about details
You’ve heard something like this: “I had the most exciting rafting trip ever. It was last August. No, it was July. No, it was June, the month after the basement flooded. No, it was the year before that….”
Unless you’re testifying in court, don’t quibble about details. Quibbling messes up your story’s flow, and it puts your listeners to ZZ-zzz-zzz-sleep. We’ve all heard it, and now you’ll catch yourself before you do it.
2. Be a know-it-all
Eight friends were sailing off the island of Hawaii. They talked about where to go next. Should they head toward Kona, or go the other direction? Fred said, “There are NO good anchorages around Kona. The snorkeling stinks.” He said it so stubbornly and authoritatively that no one dared contradict him—not the boat’s captain nor the owner, not even Gaelyn, another licensed Coast Guard captain who had happily anchored and snorkeled in several spots near Kona. Mr. Fred Know-It-All ended the discussion.
Fortunately for the would-be snorkelers, Fred had a change of heart. Or perhaps it was an opening of his mind. The next morning he took Gaelyn aside. “You’ve sailed around here. What’s your experience?” Just like that <snap your fingers>, a good conversation resumed.
Send a copy of this article to your favorite know-it-all.
3. Talk about someone your talk buddy hasn’t heard of
We’ve gotta curb our desire to talk about our friends (or worse, friends of friends). Frankly, unless it’s a terrific, outstanding, edge-of-your-seat story, it’s BORing. Here’s an example:
New acquaintance: “Oh, you’re a writer? My friend Susan has written seven novels set on the south coast of Ikkelsfahrt. There’s this cute cat, see….”
What I’d rather hear is “Oh, you’re a writer? My friend Susan is a writer, too. She could give you excellent tips on marketing your book. Would you be interested in getting in touch?”
Before launching into your story, ask yourself: Is this information relevant or useful to my listener?
Don’t kill a good conversation in its tracks. When there’s a lull, redirect the flow with new topic. Download your free copy of “15 Sure-Fire Conversation Questions for Dates, Parties, and Hanging Out With Friends.” You’ll also get my newsletter with useful conversation tips, humor, and anecdotes.
