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A Story About Attitude
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. “Well,” she said. “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “Hmmm,” she said. “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.” So she did and she had a grand day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. “Well,” she said. “Today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did and she had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head….
A Zippy Anecdote
I called AARP—for you youngsters, that’s the Association for Retired Persons—to get a copy of their DVD Staying Sharp. Not that I need it. Oh, no, not me.
The friendly phone person says, “What’s your last name and zip code?”
For the life of me, never have I had trouble with this item, I swear. I couldn’t remember my zip code. Fortunately, I found it amusing. After a long pause, I said, I can’t remember my zip code.”
She said, “Don’t worry. It happens a lot.”
“This is ironic. I’m calling to get the brain boosting info.”
“Just in time!”
That tickled my neurons, and I blurted out the number.
“I see you’re in sunny Hawaii. My daughter lives there.” And off we went into an interesting conversation about how her daughter’s adjusting to island life. I’m so glad I didn’t scold myself for my lapse because I was open to sparking that conversation.
When You’re Tempted to Apologize
Do you claim to have terrible public speaking skills? Are you worse than King George VI of Britain, who stu-stu-stuttered his way through The King’s Speech?
I didn’t think so.
In terms of fears, public speaking ranks right up there with drowning and/or sitting beside a a compulsive talker on the flight to Tokyo.
And that’s just silly because most people do an OK job of it. Speaking, not drowning.
Yesterday I went to a workshop for the Friends of the Hawaii Libraries. We’re the volunteer advocates and fundraisers. At lunchtime the microphone went around the room, and people shared what was going on at their library. I talked about our last book sale, which raised over $6,000 in 2 days. (Color me proud.) The representative from Molokai talked about giving several children’s books to every mom with a newborn, an idea we thought brilliant.
4 Tips You Can Use Today to Silence Negative Self-Talk and Have Fun at Parties
While getting a pre-holiday haircut, I said, “Stefanie, are you going to any Christmas parties?”
“Yes, but I probably won’t go.”
“Why not?”
“Oh, I start thinking about how I’ll have to talk to people, and it doesn’t seem like much fun. So I usually stay home.”
Psychologists have a fancy name for this behavior. I call it Sinking Your Own Boat.
Stefanie sinks her boat with her thoughts, one at a time. She feels more and more burdened, heavy, and miserable with each message from her imagination:
- “It’ll be boring.”
- “I might not know some people, and I’ll have to talk to them anyway.”
- “I don’t know what to say.”
- “What will I wear?”
- “I don’t like driving at night.”
Glug, glug, glug. Down goes the Good Ship Lollipop, sinking a fun evening with it.
Have You Ever Made a Big Dream Come True?
That’s a great conversation question.
I can say YES because TODAY my new, amped-up Web site is online. And my ebook, Do You Squeeze the Toothpaste in the Middle? Playful Questions for Dates & Mates, is available for the first time. HOORAY! I’M EXCITED!!!!!!
If you’re reading this on Facebook, go to http://www.QueenOfConversation.com and check out the new look.
How long did it take to write the book? Shoots, some of my readers weren’t born yet. If I get on Oprah, it’ll be because I had a dream and stuck to it like gum sticks to a shoe.
Friends would say, “How’s that book coming?” I’d say, “I’m struggling with it.” And my heart would sink. I could feel it. When I finished the book, I’d say, “Now I’m having trouble with my Web site,” and my heart would sink. With that kind of self-talk, no wonder my tail feathers were dragging.
If You Had the Gene For Alzheimer’s, Would You Want to Know?
Here’s the conversation question:
If you had the gene for Alzheimer’s, would you want to know?
Before you answer, you need to understand that “genes are not destiny. Millions of Americans without a genetic susceptibility develop Alzheimer’s, and many with the genes do not,” writes Jean Carper in USA Weekend (Sept. 19, 2010). Should you get tested? Carper says yes because (presumably), if you’ve got the gene, you’ll be motivated to take precautions and reduce your risk.
I say no. Save the 200 bucks, and save your sanity, too.
You know how you get a sesame seed or bit of popcorn stuck in your teeth? You can’t help putting your tongue on it. It bothers you til you get that sucker out of there. Wouldn’t your worry be a zillion times worse if tests showed that you were “A-gene positive”?
If you say, no, you’re a rare bird, and I salute you.
Build Your Self-Esteem By Keeping Your Word
“Your self-esteem is directly related to your ability to keep your word,” said Jeff Rogers in a PSI Basic seminar. “And that includes keeping your promises to yourself.”
Well, no wonder my self-esteem was in the doghouse. I broke my promises all the time. (Ask anyone who knows how long I’ve been promising to get my ebook online. Years….) I’m better now. Or so I thought. Here’s my story:
Gaelyn and I agreed to have a play day on Wednesday. We were gonna get haircuts, see a movie, and try a new restaurant. But on Sunday Carol invited us to Heidi’s birthday party on—you guessed it—Wednesday.
Why would that matter? Because Heidi’s special: she’s our marvelous dog sitter who comes all the way from Seattle to take excellent care of OOdles and Scooter and our home. Heidi’s in town, sitting for friends, and I wanted to be at her party.
To Be or Not to Be. On Time, That Is.
My dilemma: Should I keep my word to be at the Blaisdell Center at 5 pm, or should I take 30 extra minutes to replace my bald tires at Lex Brodie’s? I decided that since it was a PSI Seminar activity and since PSI-ers are big on keeping their agreements, I would be prompt. Besides, I like to think that I’m a woman with integrity.
Good choice. The meeting started on time. I said, “Please let me go if you don’t need me.” Fifteen minutes later, I was driving to Sears. It turned out that Sears’ tires were half the price of Lex’s, and I could wander the mall while I waited, instead of sitting in a waiting room.
It paid to keep my word. I just love outcomes like that.
Are You at the Mercy of Your Telephone?
Use The Law of Attraction to make your telephone conversations more productive.
Ring! Ring!!
Thank the goddess for caller ID. You’ve been waiting for this call. You need to talk to Ms. Brooks, but you’re not ready. What do you do, pick up the phone or risk missing out? No, wait, You HAVE to answer this call. How can you make the most of it?
There is a third way to handle the call. It puts you firmly in control of this opportunity because you’re going to put the Law of Attraction to work for you.
First you answer the telephone: ”Hi, this is Tracey.” When Ms. Brooks identifies herself, you say, “Thanks for calling. I’m eager to talk to you. Can you hold on for a second, please?”
…and then you say to yourself,
The Secret of Leadership Is Not What You Think
How often do you do stuff you don’t want to do? Does your partner drag you to parties? Does your boss insist you attend meetings? Are you miserable, or do you make the best of it? Here’s Maxwell Maltz’s view:
I have discovered that much nervousness and anxiety is caused by mentally trying to escape or run away from something that you have decided to go through with physically. If the decision is made to go through with it—not to run away physically—why mentally keep considering or hoping for escape?
I used to detest social gatherings and go along only to please my wife, or for business reasons. I went, but mentally I resisted it, and was usually pretty grumpy and uncommunicative. Then I decided that if the decision was to go along physically, I might as well go along mentally —and dismiss all thoughts of resistance. Last night I not only went to what I would formerly have called a stupid social gathering, but I was surprised to find myself thoroughly enjoying it.
