Use The Law of Attraction to make your telephone conversations more productive.

Ring! Ring!!

Thank the goddess for caller ID. You've been waiting for this call. You need to talk to Ms. Brooks, but you're not ready. What do you do, pick up the phone or risk missing out? No, wait, You HAVE to answer this call. How can you make the most of it?

There is a third way to handle the call. It puts you firmly in control of this opportunity because you're going to put the Law of Attraction to work for you.

First you answer the telephone:
"Hi, this is Tracey." When Ms. Brooks identifies herself, you say, "Thanks for calling. I'm eager to talk to you. Can you hold on for a second, please?"

…and then you say to yourself, What is it that I most want to achieve in this conversation? I want to uplift the other person. I want to be understood. I want the other person to understand me, and I want the other to be positively influenced in the direction of my desire. Indeed, I want the other to be stimulated and excited by my words. Indeed, I want this to be a successful conversation. Then, when you come back on the line, you have prepaved [the way to a successful outcome]. And now, that other one will respond to you much more in accordance with your desire than if you had not taken the time.
- Esther and Jerry Hicks, The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham

When you're the caller, you pick the time that's right for you. When you're the callee, you don't have that luxury. But you don't have to be at the caller's mercy. This exercise of segment intending helps you 

• clarify what you want
• focus on it
• draw power to it, and
• build your confidence

Can you use segment intending with each part of your day? You bet! I use it to keep myself safe and happy while surfing, to ensure my well being while driving, and lots of other times. Try it.

I look forward to reading your comments.

by  David Ault © 2004 

• What parts of this pledge speak loudly to you?
• Would you care to add any pledges of your own?
• If you’re in a relationship, especially a new one, I dare you to create a pledge to each other. Feel free to adapt David’s beautiful thoughts. Don’t worry about getting it perfect. Make it a work in progress.

How often do you do stuff you don’t want to do? Does  your partner drag you to parties? Does your boss insist you attend meetings? Are you miserable, or do you make the best of it?

I have discovered that much nervousness and anxiety is caused by mentally trying to escape or run away from something that you have decided to go through with physically. If the decision is made to go through with it — not to run away physically — why mentally keep considering or hoping for escape?

I used to detest social gatherings and go along only to please my wife, or for business reasons. I went, but mentally I resisted it, and was usually pretty grumpy and uncommunicative. Then I decided that if the decision was to go along physically, I might as well go along mentally — and dismiss all thoughts of resistance. Last night I not only went to what I would formerly have called a stupid social gathering, but I was surprised to find myself thoroughly enjoying it. 

- from The New Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

What Leadership Is All About

Dr. Maltz interviewed a top executive, who said,

"The truth is that there are few inherently right decisions or wrong decisions. Instead, we make decisions, then make them right. That’s what leadership is all about." 

There’s plenty of room for argument about the quality of world leadership. Iraq and Vietnam come to mind. And you’re welcome to comment on those below. For now let’s turn to a leader whom you can have an impact on: you.

Have you researched a problem, decided on a plan, but stopped yourself from implementing it by second guessing yourself six ways to Sunday? Or, like the grumpy husband, have you merely shown up physically? How would your life be different — more productive, more effective — if you showed up 100% physically AND mentally?

The secret of leadership is not only what you think, although clear thinking is crucial. It’s what you DECIDE and DO.

What are your success secrets? If you have a story to share, I’d love to read it. 

A homeless guy was standing by the stoplight. His scrawled sign said, "Will work for food." I scoped out nearby restaurants, then asked him, "Are you hungry?"

"Yes."

"OK, meet me at Cracker Barrel in 10 minutes. I’ll buy you lunch."

As we waited for his meal, I sized him up. He looked like a boomer like me, so I started the conversation by asking, "Were you in Vietnam?"

"Yes. I nearly died there."

I was all ears. "Tell me more. Did you have a near-death experience?"

He did. After his truck hit a mine, he was looking down on it and could see everything: the shattered metal, the mangled men, even his own broken body. But he felt no pain. Just a great expansion and freedom. "I knew I could go anywhere or know anything, just by putting my attention there.

"But I decided that I wanted to live, and SNAP! Just like that, I was back in my body, and it hurt like hell. I’m not afraid of death anymore. In fact, it’s something to look forward to."

Now that’s real freedom. Let’s put that in our Bill of Rights! As D. Eagleman wrote,

"Humans have discovered that they cannot stop death, but at least they can spit in his drink."

Here are more Memorial Day thoughts:

 As always, I welcome your comments and stories.

We paddled through mangroves, sailed across stingray flats, snorkeled around elkhorn coral and bluehead wrasses, scooped up sand dollars, swapped poems by firelight, and wished on shooting stars. My tribe nicknamed me Potcake.

Oh, it wasn’t all glorious: a scorpion bit Whitney twice; 3 of us cut our feet on shells and glass; and from sunset to sunrise, mosquitos and no-see-ums feasted on our uncovered body parts. We nearly peed on our toes, and we banged pots to scare off Wilbur, the massive pink pig who shared our "deserted" island. He sneaked up on us, and more than not wanting him to carry off our vittles, we never wanted him to surprise us squatting in the bushes.

I didn’t miss a toilet or comfortable bed. I missed a fresh-water rinse. My hair, though cleaned with No-Rinse Shampoo, always felt thick and sticky, hyped up on Super Salt Body. When I shampooed after the trip (AHHHHH!), it felt like two-thirds of my hair had fallen out. 

So what do I say when people ask, "How was your trip?" 

I say, "It was great."

Period.

For most folks, that’s enough. All they want to know is that pirates didn’t carry me off, and a passing stingray didn’t nail me to the reef.

Maybe it’s stingy of me to share so little. Do you think so?

Sometimes I bore myself with a one-word answer, and I have to say more. Then I might describe the nursery of 4-inch conchs, helter-skelter, half out of the water at low tide.

If there’s space for more information, sometimes I add details. You know what I mean by "space"? It’s somebody’s willingness to listen; it’s their ability to care; it’s the time to share. In my opinion, of course.

Then I say, "The best part was spending time with my family, including my cousin Vicki who married Cathy, her partner of 27 years, and turned the trip into a honeymoon. I loved meeting my first cousin Nan."

By way of showing how much fun Nan is, I might add, "After paddling for hours, Nan’s in the middle of the bonefish flats, squatting by the kayak, saying, ‘I’ve met 3 presidents, and now I’m peeing in my pants.’" 

I love a juicy quotation. I squatted, too, but didn’t generate a sound bite. (Thanks, Nan.)

Here’s what I’ve learned about the conversation question "How was your trip?"

The answer is what you make it. The question is super open-ended, so you could reply with a single word — "great" — or with a detailed description.

What makes me happy is something memorable and specific to hang my hat on. So the next time one of my friends goes traveling, I’ll won’t say, "How was your trip?" I’ll ask, "What were some highlights from your trip?" 

My neighbor Faye leaves for Italy and Greece tomorrow. When she asked what to bring me, I said, "Stories."

by Tracey E. Bennett

• Describe your family’s spring holiday traditions. What was your role in preparations?
• What foods do you associate with this season?
• Have you taken part in religious traditions other than your own? What was that like?

Last week I peeled apples and potatoes, plucked parsley from the yard, scrubbed pots and a pan or three, placed matzoh on 3 tables, and helped my cousin Cat cook a seder for 24 people. It was a 3-day job; but with 3 helpers, she finished 3 hours early with a smile on her face. 

We all enjoyed the Jewish rituals with horseradish, mushed apples, and bitter herbs dipped in salty water; the explanations in the xeroxed booklet with the bright green cover, read back to front; the sounds of the Hebrew syllables and the English translations; and the abundant, yummy food. 

My family wasn’t church- or synagogue-going. Our springtime traditions revolved around chocolate bunnies in bright baskets and colored eggs hidden in the yard or under the furniture. My mother never counted how many she hid. Did yours? Did you find eggs under the couch in August? Did you take them outside to break? Did you shriek "Ewwww!!!" at the sulfurous stench?

More conversation questions:

• Have you hunted lately for hidden treasures, such as Easter eggs or matzoh?
• What are your favorite memories of the spring season? Did you always eat the bunny’s chocolate ears first or save them for last?
• What are the best parts of the way you celebrate Easter or Passover now?
• Describe a favorite springtime memory that has children in it — your own or your friends’ kids, your nieces and nephews, etc.

Feel free to answer any of these questions in the comments section.

Happy Passover, Happy Easter, Happy Springtime and Bright Beginnings!

——–

Special thanks to artist Pam Chambers for the photo of her extraordinary eggs. 

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

"I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

 
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill:
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one."
Winston Churchill, in response:
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one." 

"I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

 
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright

 
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

 
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

 
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

 
"I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it."
- Groucho Marx

"Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. [I say,] ‘He’s dead. Good.’"
-Kate Clinton
 

"There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure."
- Jack E. Leonard

 
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
- Robert Redford

 
"He has Van Gogh’s ear for music."
- Billy Wilder

 
Lady Astor said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband, I’d give you poison."
Churchill said, "If you were my wife, I’d drink it."

 
"I am returning this otherwise good sheet of typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top."
- English Professor, Ohio University 

Does your first impression measure up at home? When your loved ones step in the door, do you stop what you’re doing and greet them? Do you make them feel important and valued?

Let’s take a hint from the professionals.

Do you like being greeted at the door of WalMart? I do. A friendly welcome sets the tone for my shopping. It focuses me on a warm human being instead of a chilly store. WalMart knows that first impressions count, so thrifty as they are, they spend the bucks to have someone say, "Hello, welcome to WalMart."

When I come home, Scooter (pictured) and OOdles bark and wag their welcome. As you can imagine, we’re delighted to see each other after a day — or an hour — apart. They have no concept of time. "You’ve been gone FOREVER, and now you’re home!" Wag, wag, wag! I love that first impression so much, I could bottle it.

But they’re not my favorite door greeters. My partner, Gaelyn, is. I just love seeing her peeking around the garage door, setting a playful tone for the whole evening.

And when Gaelyn comes home to me, I join the dogs at the door. I don’t bark, but I do wag and say, "I’m so glad you’re home. I’m happy to see you."

Like the folks at WalMart, we know that first impressions count. Forget apples for keeping doctors away. A greeting a day keeps the grumpies at bay.

Who’s the official greeter at your place? It’s too important a job to leave to the pets. Show up at the door and wag your tail, too.

Do first impressions count in Olympic ice dancing? Canadians Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir won my heart from the get-go. Before the first note of their music, even before they positioned their skates on the ice, my heart melted. I awarded them the gold.

Why? 

Did you SEE the way he looked at her? Such appreciation, such love! And they’re not even dating. Were his adoring looks part of the performance? Who knows. Who cares? The judges gave them gold, too. Yeah, I know:  they earned it with every twirl and lift. But it all got launched with a great first impression.

Here’s my Olympic-sized tip of the day:

Do you realize you’re making a first impression every day? Over and over? Yes, even with people who know you. Friends are always checking you out. Are they likely to say, "You look dazzling today!" or "Did you spill your coffee fix?"

And you never know when that stranger you bump today — "Oops! Sorry!" — will become the client who interviews you for a job tomorrow.

Every brick-and-mortar business is making first impressions too, starting at the curb. <Reader alert! Pet peeve coming.> What will you find outside my gym? Power bar wrappers. Plastic water bottles. Litter. Ugh. Faster than you can say "deep knee bend," the staff could clean that up.

When I owned the Mango House Bed and Breakfast, I cleaned all the way across the street. My reward was finding coins, a pint of rum and 5 music CDs. I was proud to have the cleanest cul de sac in Honolulu.

I won’t preach. Now that you know to pay attention to your first impressions, you know what to do.

============

What did you think about the Russians’ aboriginal costumes? Got a story about good or crummy first impressions? Leave me a comment.