There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. “Well,” she said. “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “Hmmm,” she said. “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.” So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. “Well,” she said. “Today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head….

Thanks to Amber Ludwig for today’s insightful guest post:

We are all winding down the 2011 year (hard to believe it went by so quickly!) and resting up to take charge in early 2012. It is important to really take that time to REST because January is an often hectic month where business owners, like you and me, are eager to expand, build and conquer. We are FULL of inspiration and creative ideas. Many also feel financial pressure from spending a little too much over the holidays, and expansion in business usually requires a budget to play with. Today I hope to provide some tips for consideration to help you through this transition.

Sometimes it doesn’t pay to be efficient. Take this morning…. I approached the Safeway checkout lines with my 2 items. Two express lines were open.

Line #1: Tami is my favorite checker. She’s friendly to everyone, and we’ve both taken PSI Seminar, so it’s fun to have that in common, to check in on a deeper level.

A couple people waited for Tami’s register, so being efficient, I picked the register with no customers:

Line #2: Maile the checker always seems to be bored out of her gourd, and I’ve never seen her smile. When she mumbled, “Thanks for shopping at Safeway,” I didn’t believe she meant it.

I left the store trailing a dark cloud. What was I thinking? For a few more minutes of my time, I coulda had a V-8. I mean, I could have enjoyed checking out with Tami. I could have left Safeway with a laugh instead of a lesson.

These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:  A place where women curl up and dye.

COMMITTEE:  A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:  Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
[My Favorite]

HANDKERCHIEF:  Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:  A grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:  Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:  A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:  One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:  An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:  Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

Intrigue-master Sam Horn compiled the best 20 Thanksgiving quotes about being thankful. She writes,

“If the only prayer you ever said was ‘Thank you,’ that would be enough.” – Meister Ekhart

You’ve heard the saying “out of sight, out of mind?”

Keep these quotes “in sight, in mind” so you and your loved ones can live in a state of gratitude year-round.

Gratitude quote #1: “When you drink the water, remember the well.” – Chinese proverb

Gratitude quote #2: “When I started counting my blessings; my whole life turned around.” – Willie Nelson

Gratitude quote #3: “Make yourself a blessing to someone. Your kind smile or pat on the back just might pull someone back from the edge.” – Carmelia Elliott

Gratitude quote #4: “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” ~ William Ward

One of my favorite charities called this morning to say Thanks. Normally, I’d appreciate a call like that, especially since they weren’t hitting me up for money.

But not at 5:15 AM.

Who calls at that hour? It’s never good news. The ringing woke me up. Wrong number? No. When I heard a woman’s voice leaving a message, I ran for the phone. That meant dashing down the stairs and rushing to the kitchen, just in time to hear the voice wishing me “happy holidays”….click.

Who called? The Heifer Project. I love these folks. I love giving chicks, rabbits, goats and bees to people around the world. I love knowing that I help people help themselves. I make it possible for poor folks to send kids to school or plug a leaky roof. And I appreciate a thank-you.

But not at 5:15 AM.

How to squeeze more bucks from customers and put your business’s trust at risk. A guest post from Philip E. Humbert:

I had an astonishingly bad experience with a major clothing store this week, and I want to tell you about it. Perhaps it will remind all of us that perceptions count and integrity matters.

As a favor to my wife, I agreed to call a major catalog retailer and order some fall and winter outfits for her. I figured it would take 10 minutes to call the store, order the items, bill the credit card, and be done with it. And it might have, except for one little thing.

At the end of the call, the order taker asked permission to “include information about our travel club” in the shipment. I wasn’t interested and vaguely replied that would be fine. She then repeated the offer and said she needed a specific yes or no. That got my attention and I started asking questions.

“If you could live anywhere in the world—and if money was no object—where would you live?”

I’ve asked this conversation question many times and never received a surprising answer. But one author did. Read an excerpt from The Road To Happiness by Mac Anderson and BJ Gallagher, and watch that answer take an unusual turn:

“On one trip about ten years ago, I was making conversation with the taxi driver, asking him my usual questions about how he came to live where he lived. Then I asked him a hypothetical question: ‘If you could live anywhere in the world—and if money was no object—where would you live?’

“Without hesitating even for a second, he replied, ‘I live in my heart. So it really doesn’t matter where my body lives. If I am happy inside, then I live in paradise, no matter where my residence is.’

Why bother to proofread your résumé when you can write a timeless blooper instead? Read carefully. Some bloops are suttle, I mean, subtle.

• “I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”
• “I’m intrested to here more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer.”
• “Hobbies: enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians.”
• “2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people.”
• “Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail.
• “Objective: Career on the Information Supper Highway.”
• “Experience: Stalking, shipping & receiving”
• “I am great with the pubic.”
• “My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”
• “Revolved customer problems and inquiries.”
• “Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.”